There’s nothing Squirrels love more than seeing us get together in meetings. They cheer and applaud with their furry little clawed paw-hands, hopping about with excitement. They know that the more of us there are in a conversation, the less likely we are to stay focused on Doing What’s Most Important.
And they’re right, of course, because the math says so. Every person is equally able to let a Squirrel loose on the group. So the probability of a Squirrel attack is multiplied by the number of people.
It doesn’t matter which Squirrel leads the attack, the pain is the same.
Worst case, we burn the entire session on Squirrels and accomplish nothing. Either way we go back to our desks with at least a general sense of having failed, feeling less productive, less successful and less motivated than we did before the attack.
So, we need a special weapon to fight Squirrels when we meet. That weapon is Calling Squirrel.
The Official Rules of Calling Squirrel
Q: Isn’t there a risk that all this Calling Squirrel, rebutting and voting will itself become a Squirrel?
A: Yes, that’s a very real risk. Prevent this by following the Official Rules closely. For example, avoid creative ways of Calling Squirrel as they invite discussion of the call itself, which is, of course, a Squirrel. Also, pay special attention to Rule #4.
Q: Can I call Squirrel on myself?
A: Absolutely. It’s recommended, even. You’ll quickly find that you want to call Squirrel on yourself before anyone else has a chance to.
Q: If Squirrels Die in a Tie, does that mean that any Squirrel Call in a conversation between two people will automatically be upheld.
A: Yes. If you really need to talk about that other thing, do it after the meeting is finished.